A man... walks.

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Poop

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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What squirts out of your butt and runs down your leg? Bloody diarrhea.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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out of your comfort zone

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Nice story but I wish it would have had a good point like... A moral? Moral: Need a light?

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops