Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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5

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Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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sexual intercourse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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America

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops