Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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black people. that is all...

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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knock knock who's there? refelection reflection who? reflection in the mirror, it's you -lINDz@Y $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ s/0 to my B0oFrand J0rdan MiLaRR

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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