Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Miley Cyrus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did God use one of Adam's ribs to create Eve? He didn't. God doesn't exist

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How many Jews died in the Holocaust? Not enough.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops