How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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385

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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