What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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Women's Rights.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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PATHETIC

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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A inventor was wandering around the desert one day, then he found a magic lamp, he rubbed on it and thus came up a genie! The genie asked: What do you want? The inventor responded: Meh, no idea... Thy wish is granted, answered the genie. The now ex inventor never came up with something new ever again.. Moral: Huh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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