Who would win in a chess duel between Ender Wiggin and Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl will calculate the optimal path to move his pieces. Ender Wiggin will calculate the optimal path to kill the queen, so all the other pieces just sort of fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the boys dick hard? Because he stuck it in a hole in the snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the baby in the microwave? I don't really remember, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Asian man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mitt Romney

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops