A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin.

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You and your parents are going to die today

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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