how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

im gey

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

I've had Alzheimer's for as long as I can remember... So since yesterday.... CHAYOTE ASTRONAUT SPACE SAY WHAT?!?!?!

You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

dick dick dick... frogs

What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

Ask me if I'm a toaster Are you a toaster? No, I'm a tree.

What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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