Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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yo' Mamma's so fat when she stepped on the scale, she said "hey, that's my phone number"!

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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I really did not understand the chapter. Is there anyway I can meet with you at a later time to discuss what I did wrong?

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Gay jokes aren't funny Cum on guys

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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There was a jew, a german and you Despite you were there, the holocaust was You should feel guilty

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Whats worse than sour milk? 911. Whats worse than 911? drinking sout milk!

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I have Alzheimer's, i pee out gold, racoons

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Where do baby apes sleep? In apricots

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what happens every day? People die

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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Where do you find a good lawyer? In the cemetary

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What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? bob bob who? the builder

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A: If you were stranded on an island and you could only have one thin, what would it be? B: A boat A: That makes sense

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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