What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

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What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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1 + 1 = 11 Just kidding, it's 2 you moron.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a Rabbi? Rabbits are of the family Leporidea, whereas Rabbi's are Jewish.

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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