A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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an athiest walks into a church

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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JAmie stegman loves making love with his sister... he loves inbreeds so much

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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What did the president do for the people? ...

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Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

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WHAT????

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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why doesn't mexico have an olypics because theyre already running,swimming and jumping over the border

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Waiter. there's a fly in my soup! I apologize, I'll bring you a new one immediately.

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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yo mama so stupid, she went to the super bowl an bought a spoon

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops