What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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was michael jackson black or white? how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie poop? the world will never know

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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whats the same about a spider and a grape? they both have eight legs, except for the grape.

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Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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I like to slap biitches, I like to slap hoes

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue The end is near I want a beer

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roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

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I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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