i heard something so funny it made me crap my pants you were a mistake

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell off a cliff? That never happened. I just checked Wikipedia.

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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You have friends

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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The blond sold her her car for gass money and then when to a car dealer and asked for a free car if she got drunk for him the car dealer said yes only if i can do what i want with you the blond said what do u want to do to me he said i want to throw u off a cilff the blond said ok

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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Kids are cheering about the confetti at a birthday party, the mom says the twin towers just collapsed.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Why was the dwarf nicknamed The Anaconda? Because everybody loves a bit of irony.

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Q. How did the little girl fall of the swing? A.She got hit by a fridge

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Omg you bought a Prius? Children in Africa are starving and could have used that money to buy food.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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What do you get if you have a bundle of children's clothing, some moisturising cream, a gas mask, a lollipop, more candy and a bag? A disguise.

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I'm a fork. Fork you!!

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What do you call an Oliver with friends? A dream

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4 1/2

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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