Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Z.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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You're*

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue get down or i will shoot

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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