Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

5

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

thumb_up thumb_down -15

sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

thumb_up thumb_down -175

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

What happened the magic tractor? It turned into the feild!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

America

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops