Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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PATHETIC

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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A man buys free health care...

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Approximately 75 pounds of wood a day

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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