What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Morning wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man in a country bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

24

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Donkey lips

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops