Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

Why did the chicken smoke weed? Because he was black

an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a dog

how do you know when an elephant been in your refridgrator The door wont close

No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

im gey

Q: What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A Good Start.

How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

A man orders chinese food. His wife says "Honey, where's the cat?"

So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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