how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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When do you know when to stop making anti- jokes? when your done with your joke and click submit.

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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What's green and has wheels? a green car.

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Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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a black person was walking into his home. good thing balls like apple juice and Miley Cyrus was keeping guard with her sword.

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Cut off your fingers and lose weight fast!!!

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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