Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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What do u call a mixture of black people and asian people. Breakfast- Scrambled Eggs and Sausage

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: I'm a horse. We have long faces.

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Apparently he can walk now.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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Why did Daphie die? I stabbed her 487 times.

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Help iv fallen and i can get up -blarg

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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