What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What does Spiderman do everyday? Aunt May

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man and Sasquatch are walking down the shoreline on the eastern coast, the man looks back at the foot prints in the sand, he notices that during the hardest parts of his life, there were only one pair of footprints, while in his easiest moments, he sees two pairs of footprints; the man is disturbed about this and he asks Sasquatch this. "Sasquatch, Although you have always promised to be with me in my life, I see that when I needed you most, you were never there. Why is this Sasquatch?" Sasquatch replies, "HREAAHAHG?!"

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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