you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

Q:what's black and white and red all over? A:a panda bear that's been shot in the face.

A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

What did the pencil say to the pen? Nothing.

Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Worlds first anti joke.

Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We're all equal in the eyes of God.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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