doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Why did the chicken protest? He wanted to be able to cross the street without getting his motives questioned.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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knock knock. come in.

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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