Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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a pornstar comes early to a party

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

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Why the boy doesn't get any birthday presents? he has cancer.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? I don't know GOOD!

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Elizabeth Warren

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There's a fine line between hyphenated words

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Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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