You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What about all the bullshit comments? The spamming?

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A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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wommmoaooammaaa

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There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

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Women's rights

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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