You are driving a canoe home when the wheels suddenly fall off. How many pancakes does it take to fill a doghouse?

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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Pee is yellow Shit is? brown My shit is yellow WTF

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why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Why did the blond girl get fired from the M&M Factory. Becouse she removed all the W's

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Knock knock We aren't home Sorry.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Why did the chicken loom the road? To unlock the final boss.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops