okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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I LIKE TRAINS

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street. One was assaulted. The other, witnessing what he'd seen, developed a harsh stereotype.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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Roses are read Vilots are blue, I have a gun, Now get out of my house!!!

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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Q:Why didn't Mr. Fuzzy have to cut his hair anymore? A: Because he was diagnosed with cancer

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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