What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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