Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

What did the mime say to the girl? .......

What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

What did Kim Kardashian say when she got a breast implant? DERP!

Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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