- Anti Joke

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Pizza's don't scream when there in then oven.

Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

What do fish and dogs have in common they are both animals

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because due to the crashing economy he feels the need tom travel far distanced for work and food to support his growing family, this causes him to take dangerous routes of travel through hazardous areas with fast moving automobiles that potential have the chance to kill or severely Maine the distressed chicken. Not only does he have to cross these roads twice a day he is also under the added pressure of many millions of people questions why he takes such chivalrous actions to save the his future descent and the steep decline in the population of chicken.

When was George Washington born? Who the hell knows. He's older than dirt.

Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

Whats so funny? That kid has down syndrome

What is 17 meters, squared? A square.

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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