what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why did the black man wash up on shore? He was on a boating trip, deep sea fishing, with some close friends from high school. About half of a mile off shore his ship crashed and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Sadly, not everyone lived this through this tragic accident. This man was one of them.

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

What do you call a gathering of Asians? A chinkfest

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

I'm a lion hear my threat **** you ***** and then go **** yourself. if your scared and you know it and you really want to show it crap your pants.

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

What do you call a person with a big ass head? A person with a big ass head

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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