Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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why did the chicken cross the rode? so it can get the seed that is between the two yellow lines, and then he walked back without getting hit by a car.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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