Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a black man walking towards you with a gun? A defibrillator.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A bleeding zebra.

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Why did the baby cry? His dad was holding him upside down over a fire.

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Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Do you think the death man heard the one about, oh wait I bet he didn't

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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Knock Knock (No response) Knock knock (No response)

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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