Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried to to commit suicide.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

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LIFE :(

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What happens when you shoot a giraffe? It dies.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? She didn't, women belong in the kitchen.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Health food.

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A man with no face walks into a bar, another man sees this and promptly asks "Sir, why do you have no face?" The first man says nothing and walks away.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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religion

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops