What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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did it hurt when you fell from heaven? cause it looked like you landed on your face

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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69

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America

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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Women's Rights.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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