What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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