Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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69

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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An irish man calls a black man a nigger. The offended black man then proceeds to ravenously beat the Irish man's head into a nearby curb.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Somewhere, sometime in the world a man leads his country prominently in an era of change. He makes beautiful and strong speeches to his people. He also kills millions of Jewish people. No seriously, he kills millions of people it's great.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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