A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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Miley Cyrus.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Men's Rights

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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