Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

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Yo mama so fat she doesn't need news, shes worldwide. ~YN~

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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PATHETIC

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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What did the smoker get for christmas? A bike.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Women's Rights.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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