What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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How do you get a blond to fall over? Shoot her with a shotgun.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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4

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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This is not a joke.

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops