What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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oh hai

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Bob: Hey bro Jim: ... Bob: You're dead! Jim: Yep.

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A brick bent down to suck my flapjack, Then he got stuck, oh what the unpleasant, This angered the brick, he lay on the grass, he shoved a stick straight up his bellybutton.

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops