How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what the difference between a kettle with a fever and a wooden mallet? I don't remember how the joke ends but your mothers a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That's what she didn't say

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

falling didnt make the difference

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops