A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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30cm = 0,3meters

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ouch".

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Three black men were walking...

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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this sentence will end in the way you expected.

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What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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