I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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._____________________. Whale!

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Mitt Romney's economic plan for America.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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Carrot fingers

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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whats a willy? -brock

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Q: whats pink and fluffy? A: Pink fluff.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anyone??????????/

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How do you get 100 people in one car. You can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It followed a trail of bird feed that was strewn across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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