Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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What did the German say the the Jewish man? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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we all know sammi has a penis

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate to laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Why was't the Elephant allowed on the Airplane? He didn't have a boarding pass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Whats 10-5(45+76)? please help my homework is due next class and i am currently to busy worrying about my dad's cancer to think about this problem.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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If you can't read this, you should think about optical enhancement surgery. If you can, however, you just wasted 5 seconds of your life doing so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops