what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What's brown and green, has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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A man drops a penny between a Jew and a homosexual. The man says "oh excuse me," picks up his penny and continues with his day.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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