I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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black people

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a pineapple

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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Your mother is so fat she has made a concerted effort to loose weight and lead a healthier lifestyle

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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