What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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What did Katniss say to her sister? hi

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkly? Because if they were small, round, and white, they would be called 'asprin'.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a car. What is going to happen? They will arrive at their destination.

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What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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Q:What do you say to an albino man that will always get his attention? A:His name.

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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