How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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Why is six afraid of seven. Because seven is a rapist.

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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religion

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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Wanna see some more?

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops