Hitler, Goebbels and Göring walked into a bar. They ordered 3 steins and took their seats in quiet corner of the establishment. After short deliberation they were ready to start work on building a highway that would be the envy of the world.

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what do obama and terrorist have in common -they are both human

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What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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how did the man die he didnt

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Hello! Echo! My name is Ed!

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Wanna hear something funny? David is addicted to mw3 like the other 3 million people!

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Knock knock. who's there? Strawberry! Strawberry who? Pickle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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