A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Caller:Hello, is this Smellma Pitts Answer: Why yes

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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216-409-7176 Call me.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Autism speaks but not really

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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sharks

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken had no legs and was therefore incapable of committing to such a challenge.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops