what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Polity ask him to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats a willy? -brock

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Elizabeth Warren

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a frog?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There are two men waiting in line at the supermarket. One of the men reaches forwards and taps the other one on the shoulder. He says, "You dropped your wallet.". He picks up his wallet and both of the men continue on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock Who's there? The repo man Why? You're being evicted

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops