Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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Jews

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Colby Michael Schluter

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

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Why are some people so awesome? Because their black.

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My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

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There's a god, just kidding.

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why did dominic buy a new speaker on holiday because his parents died and his was at home

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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What do you do If you can't afford a hair cut? Don't get one.

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops