What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Fart

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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What happened to your hamster? It died.

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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What do you call a black man on a horse? A BLACK MAN A ON A HORSE.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why was the woman?

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The snake rides the bicycle in the forest, the rabbit sees this, and says "hey snake, you don't have legs" "oh damn" replies the snake and eats the rabbit because of the insolence

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if quiz is quizzal whats test?

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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A man sat on a chair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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